The Unfriendly Skies

There was a time when flying was fun and domestic carriers were in the customer service business and acted like it. The industry, like too many others, keeps heading the wrong way.

I’m old enough to remember when flying was - tolerable - and not hellish. I’m also old enough to recall the days when flying was fun. Really it was. Back in the 1960’s and 1970’s, and the 1980’s it surely was.

It was slick, sleek and sexy up there.

In those days, the airlines were in the customer service business. And as importantly, they knew they were in the customer service business and behaved that way. I know it’s hard to believe that there was a time when they actually cared about their customers, and didn’t crawl and hide behind “safety protocols”, but there was.

If you’re old enough, you remember good moods and cool vibes, plenty of food and booze, and smoking - yes - you could even smoke - SMOKE - on an airplane. And a guy could get up from his seat and go chat with flight attendants and hang out in the galley. The pilots would walk down the aisle and smile. No shit. Smile and say hello.

And the fits were sick. Flight attendant uniforms were full on high-fashion, all the way up (or is it down?) to the go-go boots. Hair was styled, clothing was clean and pressed, and everyone put their best faces on to bring the public into this exhilarating new world.

Carriers like PanAm, Braniff, Hughes, and later Southwest and Virgin were fashion-forward, and fun places to work, complete with dancing and high fives. Think about it - what could be more exciting than the early days of commercial flight?

The planes shimmered and glimmered in the sun. Inside, clean, new, comfortable seats, with ample legroom, and sometimes more than that. Functioning ashtrays. Clean aircraft. Spotless. These planes were brand spankin new, and more rolled off the line every day.

You can visit the history of these ancient aircraft every time you fly today… most of these planes are - unfathomably - still in service. Right down to the ashtrays in the bathroom…

In those early days, even the customers dressed up. I remember as a kid flying usually once a year in the summer for vacation, how pretty everything and everyone was. Smiles were everywhere. The pilots would invite kids into the cockpit and we’d get plastic wings. I was never asked by any of them if I’d “ever been in a Turkish prison” but - let’s stay on point here.

These were good jobs the airlines jobs. Pilots were the shit - alphas who strutted through airports and a new breed of sky captains who cruised us all along at 30,000 feet toward our destination.

The meals - the MEALS!! - Full meals. A choice always of at least two entrees. Actual silverware with cloth napkins presented on a tray next to a damned fine plate of food. I remember stealing the tiny salt and pepper shakers. They’d also give you the whole can without even having to ask for it. All - complimentary.

There was magic in those days - because getting on an airplane to go someplace - to see people we love and know - and to be able to do it in just hours flying through the sky instead of days or weeks on the road - that IS magic.

Flying is supposed to be something to look forward to. It was. It really was. People were jealous when you told them you were going to fly someplace.

And - when we landed - and got up - and heard so many thank yous and have a great days and ‘b’bye nows’ as we left and walked up the jet bridge to our waiting families or friends who got to come right to the gate!

So many hugs and smiles in one spot. So much life and so much celebration. Every trip on an airplane was - yeah - magic…

“What?” the gate agent snapped at me, without looking up, when I walked up to ask a question this afternoon prior to my connection in Phoenix. She had just announced that we were to gate check our bags because it was an airbus, and I went up to get a tag.

Not “Hello” - not “How can I help you?” - Nope. “WHAT??”

If she worked for the airlines in the 70’s she would have been fired on the spot. Today, it’s how it is.

It’s not their fault - not entirely. But it’s symptomatic of an industry in decay, extracting every last penny from their customers, compromising safety for all, while grinding their employees into nothing, so as to feed the CEO and executive staff’s eight and nine figure salaries, bonus structures, stock options and golden parachutes.

It’s a model shared by too many other US monopolistic industries. And it’s getting worse by the hour.

I flew to New Mexico this week to see my daughter. To see my daughter! And her Mom, and others. This is supposed to be so fun - all of it.

And the TSA, the airports, and American Airlines beat the absolute shit out of me - again.

Aren’t we tired of this?